As I mentioned in my first post, I want this space to be somewhere I can evolve my thinking. While I usually lean into the creative side of things—my work, hobbies, passions—I don’t want to limit myself to just that. I also want to explore ideas around philosophy, self-development, and self-acceptance.
Today’s post is more about that last one—self-acceptance—and specifically the idea of giving ourselves permission. Permission to not be productive. To not be beautiful. To be self-indulgent. And to ease up on those high standards I tend to hold myself to. I often find myself trying to be this perfect person who never slips up and who everyone likes, and deep down, I know that’s just not me.
Maybe part of that comes from the way we’re brought up—especially in British culture, where the stiff upper lip mentality teaches us to keep going, not talk too much about what we’re feeling. But I think real healing starts when we allow ourselves to actually feel things. Without trying to tidy it all up or make it palatable.
A personal story that connects to all this is when I first went vegan at 16. I was working as a butcher at the time, and I started getting into animal advocacy and reading about animal rights. It gave me a lot of time to think—and with that came this massive pressure I put on myself to be perfect, to tick every single box.
I remember the guilt I’d feel if I ate something with dairy in it by mistake. I’d literally be standing in the supermarket holding a can of Pringles for like five minutes reading the ingredients over and over. It came from a good place, and it was a huge part of my character development and growing up—but honestly, it also messed with me. That need to get everything right turned into shame when I didn’t.
So it felt like a bit of a shift last night when I ate a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough in bed while feeling like absolute trash, listening to Blue by Joni Mitchell. It sounds kind of funny saying it back, but in the moment it was so specific. Like, it could be a painting. But then again, maybe that’s just my creative brain trying to make a moment out of the mess, trying to distract me again.
But honestly, I think that was healing in its own quiet way. Because sometimes sitting with your sadness and letting yourself have the ice cream is more real than numbing out on your phone or pretending everything’s fine.
Anyway, I don’t have answers. These are just thoughts I’m sitting with. But I think giving ourselves permission to feel—really feel—without guilt, is a small but meaningful step toward self-acceptance. It doesn’t define us. It just makes us human.